True but thats because hes a fetus.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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