just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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