dude i'm inner monologue high
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize