I heard we made out
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
