Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have aggressive nipples.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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