i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
