I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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