I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
