I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
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I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline