You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.