Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.

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(315): View more from New York

We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.

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(770): View more from Georgia

"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(319): View more from Iowa

You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there

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(256): View more from Alabama

its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out

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(253): View more from Washington

Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples

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(208): View more from Idaho

Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.

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