apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
