Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)

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  (248): yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did) http://tfl.nu/wp6c
  Replies (3) Good night (1473) Bad night (647)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?

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  (402): apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor. (717): But why'd she put it on the conveyor then? http://tfl.nu/v0cx
  Replies (4) Good night (2698) Bad night (638)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.

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  (540): I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here. http://tfl.nu/rnyh
  Replies (16) Good night (11093) Bad night (1232)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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  (210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk
  Replies (143) Good night (2489) Bad night (50834)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (810) Bad night (1443)
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  (914): View more from New York

  we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.

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  (914): we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/6asp
  Replies (11) Good night (2705) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.

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  (760): Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security. http://tfl.nu/lxl5
  Replies (9) Good night (1627) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...

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  (+44): This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again... http://tfl.nu/3c0f
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (529)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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  (303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  8===D

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.

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  (412): 8===D (412): That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me. http://tfl.nu/yh0b
  Replies (12) Good night (2065) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

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  (303): I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes. http://tfl.nu/8g0z
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (900)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college

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  (336): Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college http://tfl.nu/8jl4
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.

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  (918): Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art. http://tfl.nu/zfiz
  Replies (2) Good night (777) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget

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  (610): So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget http://tfl.nu/3geu
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (661)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.

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  (678): My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win. http://tfl.nu/9qeq
  Replies (5) Good night (262) Bad night (423)

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