What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
