Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (834) Bad night (1085)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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  (919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi http://tfl.nu/rjb1
  Replies (29) Good night (734) Bad night (4820)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks

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  (208): I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks http://tfl.nu/4n3j
  Replies (44) Good night (1690) Bad night (3915)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Not having phil's child is good enough.

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  (513): Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize. (1-513): Not having phil's child is good enough. http://tfl.nu/zrt3
  Replies (19) Good night (6378) Bad night (930)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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  (646): He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/8o9v
  Replies (11) Good night (3386) Bad night (1862)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards

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  (540): I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards http://tfl.nu/0mpw
  Replies (12) Good night (1261) Bad night (2960)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me

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  (617): She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me http://tfl.nu/lf37
  Replies (9) Good night (4387) Bad night (960)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?

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  (304): will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back? http://tfl.nu/g3xm
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (951)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  oh my god i'm in a crawl space

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  (715): oh my god i'm in a crawl space http://tfl.nu/mjlz
  Replies (16) Good night (2712) Bad night (1311)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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  (540): Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run. http://tfl.nu/gma4
  Replies (3) Good night (1904) Bad night (579)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.

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  (917): bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was. http://tfl.nu/th2f
  Replies (3) Good night (2188) Bad night (444)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.

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  (850): Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks. http://tfl.nu/uggh
  Replies (24) Good night (1315) Bad night (658)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.

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  (330): apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast. http://tfl.nu/hvsr
  Replies (5) Good night (896) Bad night (263)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  And then someone hit me with a pool cue

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  (604): I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud. (604): And then someone hit me with a pool cue http://tfl.nu/5hgm
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (316)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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  (+44): New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest. http://tfl.nu/rx56
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (207)

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