Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection