i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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