he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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