I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
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just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
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He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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