yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
