I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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