its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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