i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
