based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
