Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
