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quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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