I bet he comes in French.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize