I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
