Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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