She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
