I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
