Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wear drunk well.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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