We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
