I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
