problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
