I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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