awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just had sex bonerless
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
