If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
