I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
