do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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