tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
