I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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