I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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