We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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