did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
