he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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