you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
