Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
