You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
