SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
