iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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