i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
