he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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