apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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