I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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