mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
