therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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