My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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