Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
