Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
