glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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