so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
