So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
