why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
