It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Randomize
