Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She's JV to your varsity
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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