i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He felt like a one man threesome
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
