I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
