tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Two words: blizzard sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize