Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
