I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
