butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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