It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You did what with his pubic hair?
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